If I were to give a definition of a “bad boy” it would be one who is more of a liability than an asset to you - they withdrawal more from you than they deposit. You are always in a deficit mode instead of an overflow mode. They are selfish and self centered considering no one but themselves. So if we were defining a good boy he would be the opposite of the bad boy. He would deposit more than he withdrawals. You would always be in an overflow mode rather than a deficit mode. He would be selfless and you centered considering others over himself. In other words he would be an asset rather than a liability.
What is it about the well groomed, well spoken, well educated, family focused men who can be sensitive, considerate, and exceptional provider that many women are not attracted too? What is it about a man who opens a door, stands back to allow you to enter a room first, or extends his hand to help you us that repels you?
I sought God out on this very same question. It appeared He was silent on this issue until one day He gave me revelation that I lovingly pass on to you. I was watching T.D. Jakes on television and he made this statement, “a half a woman will only attract half a man. Who will then marry and have only half a marriage.”
Then the Lord gave me this scripture “For you created my innermost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalms 139:13-14. God placed in my heart that these women who choose bad boys as defined above do not place value upon themselves. They feel like this is the best they can do. They have had the very stated example of the bad boy as their primary example placed before them on a regular basis. They have seen men leave their mothers, their children, incarcerated or dead at an early age because of life style choices. They have watched their mothers pay the bills and go to work every day without any help. So the reality is we can’t fault those who choose the bad boys, the bible says train up a child in the way that they should go and when they’re older they won’t depart. If we impart junk into the lives of our children and our own lives we continue the cycle of half-ness instead of wholeness. Most women have not been told that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. They have no idea that God formed their inward parts and made them special. If more women knew this and embraced this they would place a higher value on themselves. They would accept the scripture that states, “you are the head and not the tail.”
So there is order and we do have road map when it comes to identifying a man after God’s own heart – a Good Boy. (If you need scriptures to back up the principles they have been provided for your consideration.)
- He must have a servant’s heart. (Genesis 24:17-21) He should be willing to consider your needs and wants sometimes over his own.
- He should be equipped in the word so that he can be the spiritual leader of the house. (Ephesians 5:25-27)
- He should not be abusive to you or your children. (Colossians & 21)
- He should be the provider. (Genesis 3:19)
- His love for you should manifest in the way God intended. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
- He should have an active prayer life. (Colossians 4:2)
If we remain connected to the Source that reminds us that every good and perfect gift come from above, then we will move from a place of half-ness to wholeness and desire nothing less than a whole man who treats us like the apple of God’s eye. Remember a man will only do what you allow him to do so take a stand and stop believing the crazy hype that a piece of man is better than no man. This also lines up with the sister article "Are Looks the Litmus Test to A Relationship"
May the peace God rest permanently and profoundly in your heart and your home.