If you’ve been following Keeping it real with Angela Harris, then you know we have been dealing with self-image and self-worth. We have looked at how we view body image and skin tones and the general consensus has been that we have allowed society as a whole to dictate what is beautiful. It would appear that images of Caucasian women wearing a size 0-3 seem to be the litmus test for beauty. When a woman is larger than a 12/14 we tend to call her “big boned”, “full –figured”, “big and beautiful”. The question that was raised was why isn’t she just beautiful without all the qualifying adjectives? Why is it that beauty pageants only show women within that range of 0-3 as the example of what each state, each country and then the universe deems as the example to mirror to be considered or called beautiful? We then asked the question does skin tone still make a difference in society. The consensus was divided but the statistics couldn’t be disputed. Lighter skinned black men and women are hired in record numbers over darker skinned people. Lighter skinned people make more money than darker skinned people. My niece who is a chocolate lovely lady made the statement, “why do people think they are complimenting me when they say, you are pretty for a dark girl?” She further remarked “why aren’t I just pretty? Are they implying if I wasn’t a dark girl that I would be pretty?”
Clearly we continue to live in a time when the media’s depiction of beauty still continues to be the
gauge by which many base their worth and their value. Like anything else in the lives of those we love we must help them define and in many cases redefine who they are so that they can walk in confidence regardless of how someone else tries to define them. I am reminded when my niece was born, being born extremely dark at the time and my mother began telling her from her cradle, “Nana loves little chocolate girls.” I believe that was the foundation that was set that created an extremely poised and beautiful self-assured young woman.
We must all realize that words have the ability to uplift or tear down. We must be vigilant in assuring that the self-esteem of those around us and those we encounter are molded in a way to positively affect and impact the hearts and minds of our young African American girls and boys. I don’t care what their daddy was or like or how trifling their mother was you tell that child how wonderful they are. You assure that child that they can be anything they want to be. You tell that child you love them. You tell that child that you wouldn’t want any other child then the one you have. Encourage every aspect of them with positive affirmations. Speak life into your children and not death.
This one is for free – if a woman enters a room don’t remark on her increased weight. She sees herself in the mirror every day. Trust me she doesn’t need you to tell her what she already knows and sees. It’s been said if you don’t have something good to say about person then don’t say anything at all.
What makes my black beautiful? I can now give you the answer. YOU make your black beautiful. You have been fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are God’s work in and through you. Embrace that phenomenal hue that you’ve been given. Celebrate the tresses given and wear them with exceeding pride. Shout from the far corners of the earth that your physique is just what the doctor ordered and that you will not allow your happiness to be based on what size you wear. We all can improve on areas in our lives YOU should be the person to determine where that improvement should take place. Don’t look at an arbitrary image and strive for it. Find your perfect you and develop it. If you don’t learn to love yourself as you’ve been created then you will continue to live a life through the prism of other people instead of your own self defined greatness. I salute you with love you beautiful black creation of God!
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