The Desperate Woman and How Not to Be Her

So many women find themselves in desolate places. Sometimes the places are so dark they can’t see their way out. So desolate that, unthinkable things are contemplated or take place. Things such as suicide, drugs, excessive drinking, self-hatred, self-mutilation, eating disorders, violence, incarceration, depression and other mental illnesses. The interesting thing about the reason for most of these conditions is generally tied to a man. It is a sad thing to find that so many women place their value on whether or not they have a man. So today it is my goal to help free every woman who feels a man completes her, makes her, confirms her, validates her, and justifies her existence.
Let me state up front there is nothing wrong with desiring a man in your life. Where the challenge to health comes is when you feel incomplete without one, when you feel that life only has value as long as a man is prominent in your life. In this desolate state women resort to all types of men, buying into that old adage – a piece of man is better than no man.
Let’s look at what women are resorting too:
·         Incarcerated men
·         Bi-sexual men
·         Married men
·         Unavailable men – (these men are not available but no married. These men usually have several women in their lives and are not willing to commit. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as the women isn’t vying for an exclusive relationship.)
·         Immature men
·         Abusive men
·         Lazy men/uncaring about providing
·         Un-churched or churched but no relationship with Christ.
There is no need for a woman to feel desolate or desperate that is as long as faith in grounded in something that has permanency. As long as her faith in the process is linked to the relationship guru. As long as her faith believes that every good and perfect gift comes from above and as long as her faith states unequivocally that whatever state she finds herself in she will be content because God is the author and finisher of her faith. As long as she believes the scripture that reminds us that God knows the plans that He has for her plans for her good for an expected end/a hope.
Here’s the point. Too many things have driven the thought process as what makes a woman whole. A woman who is linked to the source understands that what God has for her it’s for her. She understands that she is not the hunter but the hunted (hunted not stalked). She fully understands that she is complete in Christ!!
·         To get out of desolate places a woman must value herself.
·         A single woman should be celebrating her singleness not despising it. She should spend this quality time purging past relationship, getting to know herself, becoming the perfect help meet, and concerning herself with the things above what pleases God.
·         A single woman is only ready to be with a man when she is willing to remain single until a man after God’s own heart enters her world and pursues her relentlessly (once again pursues not stalks).
·         A single woman should desire the type of man God has described: a provider, spiritual head of the home, head of the home, servant ship, protector, example for their children and their community. I know this is a tall order just remember this one salient point: there aren’t a lot of men out there like this but the good news is God didn’t make you for a lot of men. He doesn’t need to make a lot just that one perfect one for you, so be discerning.
·         Stop being impatient. Wait on God’s perfect timing. It hasn’t been too long and it hasn’t been too soon, God is perfect in all His ways.
·         Walk in the truth of who you are. Affirm your existence. You must realize that when a man finds you he finds a “good thing” and obtain favor from the Lord. Ladies, hear me, “You are a good thing.” To not have you is his loss and a man who doesn’t want you is your gain. Why desire someone who doesn’t desire you?!!!
Being desolate is a choice. You are in the driver seat. If you want to be viewed as a strong, victorious woman who is content in her wondrous self then you and only you can walk in that truth. 
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