The Look of perfect love

Today I attending a wedding of a young man I have known for over fifteen years. When I met this young man at the tender age of seventeen he shared with me that he loved a young woman deeply - apparently at that time the feelings weren’t mutual. At the time I didn’t know why but today it is as clear as a bell. I am able to write this testimony to bless others because I am his witness. I digress for a moment to share with you that this young man was and still is extremely handsome, kind, and generous, so clearly it’s not always those character traits that seem to be the most attractive to women (see the earlier blog: why good girls before bad boys. This is not meant to say she preferred bad boys). Today, more in love with this young woman than before, this young man was joined in matrimony to the love of his life. I watched as he tried to hold back the tears as she walked down the aisle. He did a pretty good job that is until her father deposited her at the end of the aisle and he came down to claim his long awaited jewel. The tears feel as he fully embraced her father exchanging a silent thank you for relinquishing his daughter into his care. While all the traditional vows were exchanged the couple proceeded to exchange personally scribed vows, this young man choked back tears as he professed his initial fear of having lost her, his gratitude of having found her again, and his undying lifelong commitment to, as he called her, “his queen”.

I know that I had just looked into perfect human love and I had absolutely witnessed a man professing his unabashed love and commitment for the woman he admits had finally been given to him by God.

Not only did this union make me look deeply into my life and my encounters in relationships I asked the question had I ever been loved this way by anyone in my life and I had to admit in the natural the answer was no but in the spirit the answer was and still is a resounding yes!

Before I deal with the yes to pull this all together I share some emotions I had to deal with while this beautiful wedding took place. While I knew there was one person in my life who could say they had been loved by me that same way this young man loved his new bride the wounds of that relationship were revived because I realized that I had dealt with the betrayal encountered ten years ago but I had not dealt with the loss I felt. So I too cried during the ceremony rejoicing with this young man and accepting my loss so that I could free myself to truly be available for what God has in store for me.

Back to the resounding “yes” of being loved so completely. In many ways this young man loved this young woman the same way God loves us.

1.       Even though we regularly reject Him, He continues to love us unconditionally waiting the time when we will be restored to our right mind.

2.       Even though we go through a succession of relationships He patiently awaits the day when our relationship will be solidified.

3.       Even though He reaches out to us to get our attention, wanting us to deeply know the best that He has in store for us, he lovingly waits in the back ground watching us refusing to believe that He is what’s best for us.

4.        No matter what He never gives up on us.
That is a spiritual reflection of perfect love. It is a love that is not based on us but a love that is based on God’s desire to love us. This young man didn’t love this woman in as much as her, herself, but he loved the God who made her. The bible reminds us when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. While in the beginning he didn’t have a relationship with the Lord, in later years he gained one and because he truly became a delight to God, God has given him the desire of his heart!

So what do we take away with this? We take away these truths:

1.       Wait on the best that God has for you. Stop settling and make sure like in the movie Indecent Proposal, when Robert Redford’s chauffer asked, “Why did you let her go?” Robert Redford said because she (Demi Moore) would never look at him the way she looked at the man she really loved. Ensure that this man or woman has shown you their ability to love you unconditionally. Know without a doubt that he or she only has eyes for you. Stop marrying because you think the following:

a.       Your biological clock is ticking.

b.       It legalizes your desire to have sex.

c.       You feel this is the best you can do.

d.      You may not love unconditionally but you can grow into it.

2.       Make sure that he or she truly loves the Lord. Don’t simply marry someone who goes to church. Ensure that that they have an active faith a faith that screams they love JESUS by their actions not merely their mouths.

3.       Make sure that you are treated like royalty. Embraced with a fullness that cannot be compared and treasured like the precious jewel you are. Make sure He is willing to lay down his life for you.

4.       Make sure he or she is truly no longer your spouse to be but also your best friend.

This list is not meant to be exhaustive just reflective. So ladies and gentlemen before you can receive the best that God has for you, you must purge the past, forgive the past and embrace the future. Not only must you be loved unconditionally but you also must be prepared to love and give unconditionally. Some just said that’s a tall order. I say to you that’s why it’s stated, “marriage should not be entered into lightly.” This union is intended to be until death do you part LITERALLY, so as the song says, make it last forever and you too shall not only look upon perfect love but experience it!!
Tune in tomorrow for “A woman will give back what you give her”


  1. Ms. Angela...This is such a beautiful piece. And I thank you so very much for coming to our wedding and writing this about us.
    God has really blessed us...and has blessed us through you as well.

    Love ya and God Bless,

    Arielle Carroll

  2. Very Encouraging post Angela! I wish you would come back write more for your sister in Christ :)