In yesterday’s article we began with the topic the lost pearl. We explored the history and the essence of the pearl. We learned that there are no two a like the same is true for women. So what happened to our virtue, that something unique about each of us that used to accurately define who each of us was? What happened to the good that was encased in the heart of woman for so long? What happened to that caring nature? What happened to our joy, our laughter? The truth is we gave our good away to individuals who were not deserving and upon giving it away we had no idea how to retrieve it back. What we got back with our hurt was our lack of trust, our inability to love without first making others pay for what others did to us, we retrieved anger, bitterness, insecurities, and self-hatred. With all those hidden feelings and emotions inside locked securely away in our subconscious, locked away so deep the only time we truly come face to face with it is when we finally reach a place of deep sleep. Now it doesn’t truly rear its ugly head in ways that are known some things are so hidden that the illumination taking place in our dreams is couched within a fantasy, so at times our deep hidden issues even elude us in our dreams. Now with all that baggage we decide, cautiously at first, that we are ready to receive new blood into our lives. We even expect other people to come in and rescue us, but the unfortunate part of this rescue is that we are so wounded that no matter what gallantry enters our lives we can’t receive it, so we ultimately lose it. You see when one sees someone wounded by nature many want to help, but like finding a wounded dog if it bites you, you decide it’s best to just leave it alone and let it die it’s slow and painful death. Who wants to be bit for simply trying to help?
What we have effectively done is cast our pearls amongst swine. What is she talking about you ask? Well I have the answer. The scripture reference is found in Matthew 7:6, the principle of that scripture is we are not to put forth the gospel of Jesus Christ in the direction of someone who has no other purpose than to trample it and return to their own evil ways. Let’s take a look at the good that we have given away to individuals whose sole purpose was to trample on it. There are people that we encounter and their character, who they are, screams our way and many times we tend to ignore the signs or worse we decide we can fix it. In the process of fixing what we were never called to fix we get hurt. Instead of internalizing how we got to this place in the first place, we tend to focus our anger, our hurt, our pain, and our frustration on the very one who is simply acting within the realm of their nature- who they are. What am I saying? Here we go; I make a decision that someone is my friend. As a friend I perform certain tasks, certain obligations, certain functions based upon my definition of a friend. From all that I do I now label that person my friend and I lavish all my compassion, love, resources, and time on that person. In return that person doesn’t reciprocate. They tend to only come around when they are in need. I get angry because this person is supposed to be my friend but are they? I may be their friend but they may not be mine. This is not condemnation; this is an honest observation that this person in my life may be ministry and not a friend. Once I realize who people are in my life and I compartmentalize them, place them in their proper place in my life, then I deal with them within the lens that best represents who we are to each other. This is not a right or wrong situation it is simple facts based upon irrefutable evidence. We must stop projecting our expectations on people based upon how we would handle things or treat people and accept people for whom and where they are. It’s not our responsibility to
fix it, it is our responsibility to protect ourselves and them by our clear understanding of who we are, what our standards are, and what a person needs to possess in order to have access to certain parts of our inner being. By implementing these principles I no longer allow hurt to enter into my equation with you because I have no expectation beyond who you are in my life. Is this making sense to you? It is my prayer that it is. You need to make this assessment within every area of your life. We all have people in our lives who fit into one or more, or all of the following categories: friends, acquaintances, ministry opportunities, co-workers, neighbors, and companions. Each category has certain agreed upon outcomes. Be sure to quickly identify/compartmentalize people you meet. Elevate them as you see, through and by their character. It is quite possible over time that they will evolve and grow into a wonderful place with you and it’s also quite possible that they won’t. It’s quite possible where you thought someone was in your life, over time that place has diminished. Don’t be critical of them just learn to embrace everyone, even you, where you are at. By doing this exercise and following these principles you quit casting your pearls (the best of you) amongst swine (those who are not deserving of your best and only want to take but never give back).
Tune in tomorrow when we will delve further into the pearl by addressing what part we play in the development of the pearl.