Through the eyes of your child what emits back through their cornea, the part of the eye that is like a camera lens? What is it that your child or children see of you on a regular basis? Are you giving them the opportunity to see you in a positive light or a negative light? God has given children to us as a precious gift. We have the responsibility to raise them up in a way that is pleasing to God. That means that we are not to live a life that says do as I say not as I do. It means that we are to live a life that they can emulate later in life and instill those same values and principles in their children. So much damage is being done by parents to their children that are absolutely mindboggling and downright shameful. The children born to you did not choose you and yet they’re stuck with you and yet God did choose you to be their parent. Let me ask you, through the eyes of a child; is this the image they see?
- A parent who insists their child/children go to church and yet the parent lives their life as though they don’t know Jesus the other six days of the week?
- A parent who walks around saying God bless you and out of your mouth on a regular basis the child hears you cussing them and others out?
- A parent who puts their respective courting partner before the needs of their own child?
- A parent who parades a different set of courting partners in front of the children only to confuse them by one minute being their “dad” and then the next minute they are to become nothing to the child?
- A parent who brings courting partners into their lives that have no values and no morals? Living off of you and contributing nothing?
- A parent who brings courting partners into their lives who are abusive to you and your children?
- A parent who says do as I say not I as I do further confusing the child? Example – you are not married and your child is exposed to your sexual encounters, partners spending the night, and yet you tell the child they shouldn’t have sex. Based on what example? Where in the bible does it say if you’re over the age of eighteen then sex before marriage is okay? Why in the world are you expecting your child to make better decisions that the example you place before them on a regular basis?
- A parent who misappropriates funds given by God opting for frivolity then can’t pay the basic bills needed to provide for your family?
- A parent who has child after child by a different courting partner?
- A parent who tells their child they’ll never amount to anything? Calls their child stupid? Is always tearing them down?
I could go on and on and I encourage you to continue to paint the picture for yourself and others. The question begs is this really the image you want your child to have of you? Don’t you want to give your children a chance in life? Many times our children act up because we are not giving them the love, the time, the attention, or the encouragement they need to mine their way through this thing called life. Our young girls search for the love of a man that they just can’t seem to get from their fathers. This means they tend to get together with any pair of britches if they dare to say those six magic words, “Girl you know I love you.” Our young men tend to emulate the men they’ve seen come around or worse they have a strong need to prove themselves and an even stronger need to feel accepted since they’ve been torn down by the very one who should be building them up. This is for free – you are not to be your child’s friend until they are an adult! You are supposed to raise them to be responsible adults, discipline them, instruct them, guide them, and love them.
Here are some images that should be seen and embraced through the eyes of a child:
- A parent who encourages them to be the best they can be.
- A parent who exercises tough love, when, the occasion calls for it.
- A parent who if they say they are a Christian is identified as such not because you say it but because the child witnesses Christian behavior by you on a regular basis. You are a walking epistle. The child sees you praying and trusting God so they too will know how to trust and pray to God.
- A parent who lives a life that is not reflective of the very things you’re telling their children not to do.
- A parent who shows by example what it means to have work ethics, be a good citizen, and live in a way that exudes character and respect for authority.
- A parent who has a spirit of hospitality, a spirit of compassion, and one who always endeavors to see the best in others.
You can add to this list also. It is time out for the constant destruction being done to our children and time for parents, actually long overdue, for parents to be parents is a way that builds our children up instead of tearing them down. Like marriage parenthood should not be entered into lightly. You will have to sacrifice, you will have to discipline yourself, you will have to put some of your wants and desires on the back burner to ensure that your children’s needs are met both emotionally and financially. Remember you’re the one who decided to have children so you should be the one making the sacrifice and you should be the one ensuring that you are raising healthy children who are an asset to those they encounter and not a liability to them. If we don’t stop this emotional chaotic rollercoaster that has taken over the very fabric of the family then we position ourselves to continue to see the following:
- Escalating divorces
- Escalating violence towards one another
- Escalating sexual promiscuity
- Escalating single parent households
- Escalating emotionally disturbed children
Let’s stop the cycle. If you have not lived in a way that you want your child to see you apologize to your child and immediately begin a corrective program to bring your child/children into a healthy realm of existence.
ShaKenya wrote: "Another good one. Although both parents have equal responsibility to set the proper example before their child, a special emphasis has to be given to mothers teaching their girls to be women and fathers teaching their sons to be men. Mothers also show their sons the Godly woman they should desire to marry and fathers show their daughters how they should desire a man that will love them as Christ loves the church. Help us Lord get back to your design for family and living!"ReplyDelete
ShaKenya Edison wrote: Overprotective. Paranoid. Too Strict. Old Fashioned. Mean. Demanding. What I tell her is this, "For everything there is a season. The world has fooled your generation to believe that your season for everything is right now." So, I'll be mean, overprotective, paranoid, strict, old fashioned, and I will table this conversation with her when she has children.ReplyDelete
@Angela my oldest son went on a interview two days ago and the manager called me and simply said thank. He was very impressed with my son and hired him that day. All the over protectiveness, paranoia, old fashion ways are paying off for hi...m in his life choices,college and the workforce. As I wish I could be a dual house hold. They understand that their fathers loved them enough to walk away. They love their fathers for the gift of life. God's way is always the best way. I tell young people that they need to do things the right way so they don't sacrafice so much of themselves. The sacrifice of myself is much greater as a single parent.