Are you a product of domestic violence?

With all the media on Rice and the domestic violent video going viral I thought this article deserved reposting.  The statistics are staggering and the impact will never really be able to adequately be placed on paper the unhealthy trend of domestic violence. The results of such a situation leaves lasting mental scares that in many cases takes a life time to heal, some never really heal from the physical and mental abuse. I just wanted to share some of the statistics as provided by the Center for Disease Control and then end with a grid outlining symptoms or conditions you can test yourself on to see if you’re in an abusive relationship. Of course my prayer is if you are in an abusive relationship that you will one day look into yourself and find such infinite value to you that you will do as Sophia in the theatre play “Color Purple” said in her song: “Hell No.” This meant it would never be acceptable for a person to beat her, intimidate her, humiliate her, threaten her, or rob her of her joy.
Definition of Domestic Violence: Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.

Domestic violence and abuse does not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. It occurs within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and economic levels. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused—especially verbally and emotionally, although sometimes even physically as well. The bottom line is that abusive behavior is never acceptable, whether it’s coming from a man, a woman, a teenager, or an older adult. You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe.
One in four women (25%) has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime.
  • Estimates range from 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or boyfriend, or girlfriend to 3 million women who are physically abused by their husband or boyfriend per year.  
  • Women accounted for 85% of the victims of intimate partner violence, men for approximately 15%.
  • Women ages 20-24 are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
  • Between 1993 and 2004, intimate partner violence on average made up 22% of nonfatal intimate partner victimizations against women. The same year, intimate partners committed 3% of all violent crime against men.
  • Separated and divorced males and females are at a greater risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
  • Women of all races are about equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.
  • Average annual rates of intimate partner victimization between 1994 and 2004 are approximately the same for non-Hispanic and Hispanic females and males.
  • Intimate partner violence affects people regardless of income. However, people with lower annual income (below $25K) are at a 3-times higher risk of intimate partner violence than people with higher annual income (over $50K).* Please note that those with less resources are more likely to report incidents of violence
  • On average between 1993 and 2004, residents of urban areas experienced highest level of nonfatal intimate partner violence. Residents in suburban and rural areas were equally likely to experience such violence, about 20% less than those in urban areas.
To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship.



Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings  Do you:

Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior  Does your partner:

Feel afraid of your partner much of the time?

Humiliate or yell at you?

Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?

Criticize you and put you down?

Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?

Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?

Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?

Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?

Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?

Blame you for their own abusive behavior?

Feel emotionally numb or helpless? 

See you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats  Does your partner:

Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior Does your partner:

Have a bad and unpredictable temper?

Act excessively jealous and possessive?

Hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? 

Control where you go or what you do?

Threaten to take your children away or harm them?

Keep you from seeing your friends or family?

Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?             

Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?

Force you to have sex? Destroy your belongings?               

Constantly check up on you?

 

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